The Duality of Man as seen in Relation to Saultry Bacon

I have not yet researched enough to know if this is a scientific anomaly or some phenomenon of which I have, to this point, lived my life unaware. Whatever the explanation, this is a discovery that has affected me deeply: there is, in the fridge of my family, a certain type of bacon that is void of the capacity to become crispy. (the horror, the horror)

My initial reaction (as I am sure is also yours) was shock and distress. HOWEVER let us not be a generation that turns away a cowardly eye at the sight of the sight of change- at the sight of progress. In the words of the established carnivore Savington Willard: “We MUST NOT fear that which we cannot explain, but explain that which we fear.”

Of course this IS an unconventional foodstuff, but perhaps our phobia of malleable meat can be attributed to the presupposition that ALL food solidifies as it is cooked (and purified), but let me bring to your attention the stain of pasta! While it is of course in the Familia Preteritus as apposed to the Familia Carni, a single tagliatella, or better yet, lasagna pasta is much the same as a strip of bacon in both the realms of proportion and density. Does not a lasagna noodle become even softer!

Perhaps this new bacon operates under the same witchery, and perhaps this fearful thing can lead to progress and even to the Atlantis, the Holly Grail, if you will, of Culinary science:

The Meatshake.

'the VOTP returns' and 'the Masonic conspiricy'

Hello all, I know there has been a lot of talk

'has collin been kidnapped?'
'has a new Voice-of-the-people-been-selected?'
'amnesia?'

and while i appreciate your concern, the truth is much less exciting... as per one of the lesser known traditions of the VOTP, I have just spent the last two months four days and eighteen hours training with a clan of rogue Himalayan monks... after which i spent a week in a crisis being torn between ninja-ism and my calling (representing the people)

that being said
............i made a cream-chomelette the other morning.....it wasn't bad........creme chomelette... THERE is a delicacy with no limits... except in the case of vegans.....vegan cream cheese can be excellent, but vegan egg supplements just doesn't work the same in omelette's

there are some things that are destined to be great .... but sometimes people find names that sound too good to be true,use them, and they are....too good to be true.
for example- Fruit-cake......should be heavenly

or....ginger-bread.....there's a food that could give world peace a fighting chance....

only......neither one of those foodstuffs live up to the promise of their name.....

don't get me wrong, i enjoy a good brick of fruitcake, or a good gingerbread tile...
but i just called them a brick and a tile....and nobody winced...

i think there's something wrong with that.

butter-milk...sounds brilliant, but it's actually a paste... of which the first swallow tastes good, and the rest seems like cleaning solution mixed with AYRan (the turkish salt yogurt)

so..... fruitcake- brick, gingerbread- tile, buttermilk- paste.....

i think the highest culinary leaders have teamed up with....builders....stoneworkers..........to create a conspiracy to the same scale as that of the American systems of measurements.
and who is it? the MASONS  (but of course ...all evidence points to them in BOTH conspiracies)

they figured.....if they had food companies making their materials.......and all other companies were stuck with conventional stuff like clay and stone......they could always charge less while making more.....and no one could compete

bavlov's bank

so another wek has rolled by, another three batches of hummus, another walk to work, another 'customer appreciation day' at the bank

cookies and cupcakes this time......

i took one, took a bite, and smiled as the symbolic bulb or epiphanies illuminated.

Pavlov- that was why the bank gave away free food (well...aside from wanting people to like going)

it is exactly like the story of pavlov's bell, only the with a sencitory switch and with a reversal of roles
(from auditory to taste and switching sustainance from the reward to the reactant)

so now, whenever i eat dessert i will think 'banking- i should go do some banking'
or something like that

i went to a show the other day- with the owners of sue's (one of the workers and his band were playing)...it was spur of the moment

it made me miss the Nautilus days.........though they sounded more like........well......death...........
i got to talking with the guy half of the ownership and he used to be in a band called 'poop'
a serious one........i think they were political

sometimes i wish i was political, but it usually only goes as far as me messing up my hair, or deciding to put sewer stickers that say 'no dumping, drains to churn chreek' in the town hall bathrooms.

and then i go and climb trees.

justin has a dehidrator- so i am going to go start experiment with different fruits......and try to make a really good fruit bar for my (as of this week) bi-weekly walks

a culinary special

and now for a culinary special
do you guys know the feeling you get when you reach the end of the meal and you look down and there are two sets of silverware on your plate, or maybe you have a fork in each hand?

yeah....its wierd

up untill last year i was never really any good at cooking.......
except when it came to camp fire meals....those are good by default

i was the type of person who cooked only with taco bell sauce packets

you know the type.....you see them walking out with a soda in one hand and a fist full of fire sauce in the other
and you wonder 'what the janz?'
but then you wonder how spicy red sprite would taste

i made my own kambucha the other week.........got the kambucha culture from my boss..........used jasmine tea and brown sugar......it turned out well but i didnt drink it all.......ended up tossing the culture and it's baby.....because i can buy bottled, yummyer, carbonated kombucha at work for pretty cheap.........and seeing the mushroom thing is kind of unnerving

i make sushi at work, ive gotten really good at rolling it tight.........mom we'll have to have another sushi party this christmas

we rap tofu and veggies in chard for a nice spring roll......served with a sweet chili sauce

hummus every other morning......it's now called 'collin's hummus' whenever anyone asks.......i dont know why i get credit for something that people were probably eating as they listened to Noah rave about how water was going to poor from the sky....but hey, i wont complain..they all love it

organic

i make fruit salad and pico de gallo

and oh so many wraps and sandwiches that taste oh so good

i've made friends with most of the workers at sue's as well as the owners..........they are trying to make rye bread right now.........still pretty bland.........but it makes me excited to try

i enjoy when people come in and say 'goodmorning michelle, hey collin, what kind of soup is shawnee making?'
or when i say 'Hey Iraja, do you want your usual basil, tomatoe, and swiss cheese toasted on rye?'
 and he says 'wow, it took my family years to get my name right when i converted to hinduism'
and i laugh about how i can remember all the stuff that WONT be on tests in school
then i remember that im out of school
and then the word alumni makes me laugh
 

pesticides and TMWMHW for a hat

justin says that hes going to come eat at greengos soon...........and when he does.......he's going to bring pesticide to spray into his mouth to compensate for the food's Organicity

one of the non dairy cheese brands
(and the brand who makes our Vegenaise)

is 'Follow your Heart'

i thought some of you might get a kick out of that.

i was driving home in the first rain in months and on the radio was an interview with the neurologist Oliver  Sacks
(Kandern folk- his book 'the man who mistook his wife for a hat' is in the stack on my coffee table)
(micah- thanks for the recomendation)

well first off he was great to listen to because he had a british accent and also his 'r's all sounded like 'w's

the lady interviewing him asked why so few people had perfect pitch and so many people can name colo(u)rs
to he responded and then went on to talk about how notes are man made.....and the starting note (frim which a scale spans an octave) is entirely manmade.........not mathamatical (though the octave of course is)
and man just chose one spot on the tonal continuim to be A and went from there

and then he said something lovely.......and completely true........and colours too were man-chosen.........in nature there is no 'blue or yellow' there is just and entire (smootly fading and transitioning) spectrum.............a perfect circle of multichromatic continuity (which, by the way is never in the same order twice)

so really.....that ugly-duckling colour between orange and dark green is just as much a bona fide hughe as yellow.....or even hot pink

and not im going to restrain from the 'do we see colours differently' arguement

but here is what i WILL talk about......today i drove to pala cedro (10 minutes) wearing my 3D glasses........and boy the sunset looked funny.

my favorite part of driving is when i pull into the garage, and inch up to the tennis ball...............
and when it finally touches the windshield...................i turn on the windshield wiper

it gets me everytime

so good